Power and Control
Versus Equality

 Community-based domestic violence project serving Pocahontas, Greenbrier, and Monroe Counties in southeast West Virginia

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P OWER and CONTROL

  1. Coercion and Threats                5. Intimidation
Making and/or carrying out threats    Making her afraid by using looks,
  to hurt or leave partner, commit    actions, gestures, smashing things,
   suicide, report her to welfare,    destroying her property, abusing
     making her do illegal things,    pets, displaying weapons, and 
          making her drop charges.    target practice.

  2. Economic Abuse                      6. Emotional Abuse
    Preventing her from getting or    Putting her down, making her feel 
    keeping a job, making her work    bad about herself, calling her 
      and taking her money, making    names, making her think she's 
  her ask for money, giving her an    crazy, playing mind games, making
   allowance, not letting her know    her feel guilty, humiliating her.
 about or have access to finances.

  3. Using Male Privilege                7. Isolation
Treating the woman like a servant,    Controlling what she does, who 
     making all the big decisions,    she sees and talks to, what she 
    acting like the "master of the    reads, where she goes, limiting  
   castle", being the one defining    her outside involvement, using 
                     gender roles.    jealousy to justify actions.

  4. Using Children                      8. Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming
  Making her feel guilty about the    Making light of the abuse and not
   children, using the children to    taking her concerns about it
  relay messages, using visitation    seriously, saying the abuse didn't
to harass her, threatening to take    happen shifting responsibility for
                the children away.    abusive behavior, saying she caused it.

EQUALITY

  1. Negotiations and Fairness           5. Trust and Support
       Seeking mutually satisfying    Partner's support each other's life
    resolutions to conflict, being    goals, respect right to each other's
        willing to compromise, and    feelings, friends, activities, and 
                 accepting change.    opinions.

  2. Economic Partnership                6. Honesty and Accountability
  Making money decisions together,    Accepting responsibility for own
 making sure both partners benefit    actions, admitting being wrong, 
       from financial arrangements    communicating openly and honestly.                                      

  3. Shared responsibility               7. Respect
       Mutually agreeing on a fair    Listening non-judgmentally and 
      distribution of work, making    valuing other's opinions. Being 
        family decisions together.    emotionally affirming and 
                                      understanding.

  4. Responsible Parenting               8. Non-threatening Behavior - 
   Sharing parenting jobs, being a    Talking and acting so that both
  positive non-violent role model.    feel safe and comfortable 
                                      expressing self and doing things.
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FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT:
Community-based domestic violence project serving Pocahontas, Greenbrier, and Monroe Counties in southeast West Virginia Family Refuge Center
117 E. Washington Street
P. O. Box 249
Lewisburg, WV 24901
304-645-6334
Pocahontas County dial: 799-4400
Monroe County dial: 772-5005
frc@familyrefugecenter.com
We can not guarantee your confidentiality or
safety if you use the internet to contact us.
Someone may be able to access or read e-mail to us or you.

Please call or write if you need total secrecy

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A note:
Many of you may be familiar with this chart in another format. A program in Duluth developed it as a pie chart type list of contrasting behaviors. Here we've reformatted it to save downloading time and web storage space.
Traditionally most domestic violence programs have focused on victims services. Rightfully so, however, now many are seeing and moving toward the necessity of developing Batterer's Intervention Programs.
Raymond Bryson, a vista volunteer with the Family Refuge Center, has been working to initiate just such a program. One of the main pitfalls of these programs seems to be the failure of most batterers to acknowledge the need for reeducation. Now the Family Refuge Center, along with other agencies in the state and across the country are approaching the legal system to encourage them to mandate attendance in an approved Batterer's Intervention Program as a possible alternative to jail time.
These newly developed programs are an attempt to end the cycle of violence that spans generations and crosses economic and cultural boundaries. We hope you find this information useful and support us in this important new program!

FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT:

Community-based domestic violence project serving Pocahontas, Greenbrier, and Monroe Counties in southeast West Virginia Family Refuge Center
117 E. Washington Street
P. O. Box 249
Lewisburg, WV 24901
304-645-6334
Pocahontas County dial: 799-4400
Monroe County dial: 772-5005
frc@familyrefugecenter.com
We can not guarantee your confidentiality or
safety if you use the internet to contact us.
Someone may be able to access or read e-mail to us or you.

Please call or write if you need total secrecy

Thank you for your time.

This page has been accessed times since July 31, 2000.
Return to Family Refuge Center Homepage (index)

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This page was created Jan 22, 1998 by Michael Condon
Last update: July 31, 2000
If you have any questions or comments about this page send e-mail.