On Saturday, May 19, Family Refuge Center will be hosting our second annual Spring Yard Sale.
      Staff and board from FRC will be out in force at 8:00 a.m. to help you find the perfect items you must have for your home, garden, car, nursery or unique collection. These goods are quality new and used items donated by the community.
      Last year there was antique furniture, cooking equipment, lawn chairs and much more.
      Look for the big banner at 303 East Washington Street in Lewisburg on your way to the Battle of Lewisburg Reenactment. Held under a big white tent, this event will happen rain or shine and is a fun way to support the work of The Family Refuge Center If you have items you want to donate, please call Family Refuge Center at 645-6334.

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      The Family Refuge Center has added a new program to the list of community education presentations available for parent and student groups in Greenbrier, Pocahontas, and Monroe counties. As internet use becomes more widespread, addressing issues relating to cyber-safety is in increasing demand. Many adults are finding their children more knowledgeable than they are when it comes to internet and cell phone use.
      A presentation is available for schools and community groups to educate parents, students, and teachers regarding potential risks involved when accessing: MySpace, FaceBook, WebCam, YouTube, Email, chat rooms, cell phone use, gaming, photo sharing, texting, and blogs For more information, or to schedule a presentation please contact the Family Refuge Center at 645-6334.

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      It is every parent’s worst fear. Car accidents. Kidnapping. School shootings. Every time your child leaves your home you worry something bad will happen to them. But statistically speaking they are much more likely to meet harm at the hands of someone they know. Dating and domestic violence have been around for as long as there have been relationships, and teenage relationships are no different. Dating violence can include everything from emotional abuse and controlling behavior through put-downs, and isolating the victim from friends or family, There is also an emerging danger for teens – “keeping tabs” on the victim through excessively texting or calling their cell phone. It can also include physical abuse such as shoving, hitting or slapping, and even forcing the victim to have sex.
      Quite common in abusive relationships, even in the teenage years, are threats to kill the victim or themselves if the relationship is ended. Just as with any form of abuse both males and females can fall victim to it.
      Just how prevalent is the problem? You may be surprised to find out. Here are some statistics found in a study by Liz Claiborne, Inc. conducted in February 2005: One in three teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or otherwise physically hurt by their partner; and nearly eighty percent of girls who have been physically abused by their intimate partner continue to date their abuser. More than one in four teen girls in a relationship report enduring repeated verbal abuse in that relationship, while eighty percent of teens regard verbal abuse as a “serious issue” for their age group. But by far the most frightening statistic, of the women between fifteen and nineteen years of age who are murdered in this country every year, thirty percent of them are killed by their husband or boyfriend. But as adults, we are largely unaware of the problem. Of the parents surveyed eighty-one percent either believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don’t know if it is an issue.
      So, how do you know if your teen is safe in their relationship? Here are 7 warning signs of abuse you can watch for:

1. Making changes in their daily routine
2. Retreating from school or loved activities
3. Growing distant or isolated from their friends
4. Making changes in their clothing or appearance
5. Wearing clothing inappropriate for the weather to hide marks
6. Having visible marks or bruises
7. Spending excessive amounts of time with the person they are dating

      If you think your teen may be being abused in their relationship, there are things you can do. Talk to your teen and ask non-judgmental questions about their life. Keep lines of communication open for them and listen with an open mind. Keep in mind the age old fact that anything a parent insists upon or tells their teenager they MUST do, is usually met with the exact opposite reaction. So avoid ultimatums and try instead to be supportive of your teen. Ending an abusive relationship is a scary and difficult time, and more than anything your child need you to support and love them.
      For further resources and assistance you can contact the Family Refuge Center at (304) 645-6334. We have advocates available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to assist any victim of domestic or sexual assault. Working together across generations we can make a difference.

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      One of the very important facets of our work is increasing the awareness of our issues. October is DV Awareness Month and April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. We will be displaying our ‘shoe project’ in various communities during April – each pair of shoes represents a victim of sexual abuse/assault that we have served in the previous year. Please watch for announcements of when this powerful display will be in your area.
      During October we displayed our Clothesline Project in all three counties we serve – T-shirts made by survivors of abuse - and the response was gratifying.
      We are so pleased to now have 5 SANE (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners) in our area. These nurses have completed the week-long training to assist victims of sexual assault in the medical setting by performing the forensic rape kit. The evidence they gather often means a conviction for a perpetrator. The SANEs are Lucy Lokant, Criss Little, Cindy Mann, Tamela Ford and Kyna Moore. Our advocates will be working closely with these nurses to better assist victims of sexual assault.
      At the end of December we held our last Batterer’s Intervention and Prevention (BIPPS) classes in Greenbrier and Monroe Counties. Jim Bragg, who was our facilitator, has ‘retired’. Jim did a very good job and we know the prosecutors miss this program. We have not found someone to replace Jim, nor do we have the monies necessary to send someone to be trained as a facilitator.
      Judy Quick and Shelia Cutlip received training from the Allstate Foundation to assist victims with economic issues education. FRC was one of two programs in WV to pilot this effort. Judy and Shelia conducted workshops for survivors in Greenbrier, Monroe and Pocahontas Counties in December which were very well received. We know that the Allstate Foundation is now interested in expanding their efforts into WV with the success of our pilot projects.
      Kimberly Foley, who is doing research at WVU on the resiliency of children who witness domestic violence, came and conducted a survey with several women whose children have witnessed domestic violence in the last year. We are encouraged by Kimberly’s research as it is looking at the positive and strong traits that so many survivors possess.One of the community issues we are concerned about is the potential closing of the Rupert magistrate’s office. We have expressed our concerns to both the County Commission and the Supreme Court Administrative Office. In 2006, we served 109 adults, 32 children and 2 elderly victims from the western part of Greenbrier Co. We will be working on provisions to continue to provide safety for victims in that area, particularly if the magistrate’s office closes.
      The winter months always prove challenging – weather is unpredictable and folks can suffer with the colds, flu, etc. Our shelter maintained high occupancy rates through the winter months. Everyone is looking forward to warmer weather. As always, we will be providing the day-to-day services to help families lead safe and violence-free lives

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      The Family Visitation Center has moved to its new location at the St. Louis Catholic Church, on Coleman Drive, Lewisburg, West Virginia. Our new location affords us the space we need to give services to at least three families at one time.
      “We look forward to having a long relationship with the church.,” says Sylvia Beye, Coordinator for Visitation Center Services.
      The Family Visitation Center is also seeking volunteers to help us with families in transition. If you are interested and are dedicated to helping the families we work with, please call Sylvia at (304)-645-6334.

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      Your support goes a long way to helping Family Refuge Center continue its free services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. Besides regular cash donations which help with immediate operational expenses, we also have an educational account which provides money for classes, books, or GED testing for women wanting to continue their education. We also have an endowment fund named for one of our dedicated volunteers, Stephanie Scott. This endowment fund will help Family Refuge Center in its long range programming.
      If you would like to individualize your giving please consider named giving or planned giving when talking with your financial adviser.
      Some advice given by the Nonprofit Information Center for making the most of your charitable contributions include:

1. Plan for giving. Plan your philanthropic activities right into your budget, just as you would other financial obligations
2. Keep the right records. For gifts of less than $250, as cashed check or receipt from the charitable organization is sufficient proof of contribution. For donating property, establishing a trust or an annuity, talk to an accountant.
3. Be aware of how much is really tax deductible. If you receive a premium in exchange for your gift, the amount of your tax deduction is reduced by the market value of the premium.
4. Ask about matching gifts. Many employers match gifts made by their employees or make grants to organizations recommended by employees. Be sure to ask your company how it can help your gift go even further.
5. Remember your gift can be confidential. If you prefer to have your gift remain confidential, you can expect the charitable organization to honor your request.
6. Consider alternative forms of giving such bequests, charitable gift annuities, gifts in kind, endowments and other creative forms of giving. Ask your tax adviser or attorney to help make the best plan for you and your family.
7. Volunteer. In addition to financial support, consider giving your time and skills. Not only will you help the organization, but you’ll also make contacts, gain experience, and learn more about the charitable cause to which you’re committing your time and money
8. Be a proactive giver. You don’t have to wait to be asked. Plan a giving strategy in advance. Contact the charitable organizations of your choice to discuss how your gifts can be most effectively used and help create a difference in your community.

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