1. The recovery process
2. Women experience post-traumatic stress
3. When Battered Women Leave Their Abuser

       Many women experience post-traumatic stress syndrome while living with or after leaving an abusive partner:

• Difficulty in learning and concentrating
• Avoid thoughts or feelings associated with the trauma which may lead to suppression of creativity, loss of confidence, and fear of new challenges
• Sense of short future & futility of planning
• Inability to complete classes and projects
• Passivity, helplessness, & depression
• Recurrent & intrusive recollection of battering events

       Summary: Post-traumatic stress disorder destroys the ability for purposeful activity. After separation from the violent situation, counseling and support can enhance recovery and increase life skills.

(From Saving Bernice by Jody Raphael)
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When Battered Women Leave Their Abuser

       No one leaves a violent relationship without scars. Months or years of being controlled, isolated, verbally attacked, threatened, and often physically and sexually abused make their mark on these courageous women. Why are they courageous? Most women who leave their abusive spouse or partner may not know the statistics - they are more likely to be hurt or killed when they leave - but they do know the fear of leaving.
       They fear he will follow, threaten, find and stalk them, take the children, and beat them once again. They fear he will show up with flowers and sweet words and seduce them into going home. And they fear living on their own when they are not used to making choices or being in charge of the kids. Leaving an abusive partner takes a lot of courage.
       And it takes more: money, a job, a place to live, or a way to get him out of the home. It means safety issues for children in a state where parents are granted joint custody. Staying in the shelter provides short term safety for some women and children, but they are in the minority. Most women must find a way to be safe and take care of themselves and their children. About 80% of the Family Refuge Center’s clients are assisted outside the shelter. This includes support groups for women and children, safety planning, assistance with Family Protection orders, safe exchanges of children, tutoring, life skills & parenting classes, and other services.
       Many battered women have a job before they leave. Sometime they stay in their home, but it is not always safe for them. Even with a job it is expensive to move, find a new home, furnish it, and get the children settled in a new school.
       These women must keep their job in spite of having to watch their rear view mirror all the time for an angry man. One woman who was stalked by her ex-husband said she lived in constant fear for over a year. He followed her to work, parked in front of her house in the morning and cursed her, called her repeatedly at the office, threatened to take the children, and finally beat her in the parking lot at work. She got a protection order and he was arrested. When he got out of jail he beat her again.
       It takes courage to leave. Those who separate from their abuser need support from friends, family, social services, the court, and other systems who can provide temporary financial and educational aid. With support battered women and their children can rebuild their lives and learn to live without fear. Without it the abuser may pull them back into his frightening world.

By Nan Malone

FOR MORE INFORMATION, CONTACT

	Family Refuge Center 117 E. Washington Street P. O. Box 249 Lewisburg, WV 24901 304-645-6334 Pocahontas County dial: 799-4400 Monroe County dial: 772-5005 frc@familyrefugecenter.com
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This page was created Aug. 31, 2001
By Michael Condon
Last Update: Aug. 31, 2001
If you have any questions or comments about this page, send e-mail.